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New Vision

by boygirl

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1.
Out of Touch 01:46
“I always had hopes of being a big star. Every body wants to leave something behind them. Some impression. Some mark upon the world...” Cold in the morning You enter like an offering Say forever like an evergreen You are a touch of spring Drive my car into the ocean Why’s it so hard to be open? Your hand on my shoulder’s cold I just want to know “And then you think… you’ve left a mark on the world if you just get through it. And a few people remember your name… then you’ve left a mark.”
2.
Do you remember being a kid Remember when the world felt so big (Do you remember when you were a kid?) Remember when you started to change But somehow you remained the same (Yet you seemed to stay the same) So where do we go from here? Living our lives full of fear They want us to work our lives away All we wanna do is play You know it’s on your mind Don’t waste your time Still feel like a kid The world still feels so big I know I’m not the same I know things will always change You know it’s on your mind Don’t waste your time
3.
Something that you can’t return to Lingering longer than you should Feelings that faded long ago Covered by blue ash and burned wood I see a burning home In my dreams at night And now I have a fear of all forms of warmth I cast a spell to the moon And I wish upon a star and say your name Like it’s mine to claim There’s no turning back now No return There’s no turning back now No return You can’t go back to the way it was
4.
I think I’m wrong But I’m not gonna tell you That’s a fact I’m gonna make it your own problem Cos I don’t know how to act I’m gonna play the long con Black swan Bad habits I act on Better right than be wrong That’s not right Cos I could see the way you looked at me Before you turned to leave I’m left here standing Feeling empty From the web I can’t unweave Gritting my teeth Cos I know that I’m wrong Gritting my teeth Cos I know that I’m wrong I don’t want to be the bad guy in the story No one wants to be the bad guy in the story I don’t want to be the bad guy in the story No one wants to be the bad guy in the story I hear you grinding your teeth In you sleep Makes me wonder what you dream Do you dream about me? And how you’ll get me back? I’m sowing the seeds For my own greed Can’t see through the weeds Just follow my lead Ignore all your needs You’re part of my creed Do it for me Don’t leave x4 I need to keep you here Believe me Gritting my teeth Cos I know that I’m wrong Gritting my teeth Cos I know that I’m wrong I don’t want to be the bad guy in the story No one wants to be the bad guy in the story I don’t want to be the bad guy in the story No one wants to be the bad guy in the story I don’t want to be the bad guy I think I’m wrong
5.
6.
Fade into a dream You look so weak I ask, “who are we?” You still refuse to speak Why do we hide ourselves away Faces morph into new faces Act like there’s nothing to say Every one leaves but nothing changes We could turn it all around Can’t let history repeat itself Something lost, nothing found And we let history repeat itself A question becomes a plea Your eyes begin to close It echoes, “who are we?” I guess we’ll never know
7.
“Earlier in the four years we’ve been working together… an event occurred that suggested or somebody told you that… we’d been friends together. In other lifetimes. Always… wouldn’t it have changed some of the ways we looked at one another?” “Even if I knew for certain… I wouldn’t change a day.” From the sea to the sky And the earth down below You’re my house, you’re my home You’re the sun, you’re the snow From the flesh that you came From your voice to your name I love you all the same Cheeks blushing red like a cute strawberry I’ve held you closer ever since that February From the place that you came To your voice, to your name I love you all the same
8.
“..wanna know why… why you chose this lifestyle… let’s start with you, why?” “Why not?” They Put you in a hole With your own shovel Tell you figure it out yourself Dig until you find Any peace of mind Just like everybody else Don’t Get too close To your big ego Don’t you know that it isn’t you? You are not the shovel You are not the hole You are not the things you do So we keep digging “Dig” “It’s all you’ll ever be good for.” Try to climb out of the hole They push you back in They tell you stick to your role With a twisted grin You’re not like anybody else Not a tchotchke on a shelf So tell me “Who are you?” “Well I mean everybody… everybody’s into their own thing… you know… we don’t want to be labeled you know… we don’t want to be… you know we all ended up getting labeled because people have… in society… have to classify you they have to put you in a category because they have to explain you! If they can’t explain you then people start getting nervous ‘what are these kids up to? What’s going on with them?’” “D-I-G… What’s that spell?” Dig!
9.
Promise that’ll always stay in touch You know that I love you so much You know that I’ll always stay in touch Promise that I love you so much Look at you you’re all alone You’re doing it all on your own Didn’t know you were so grown Something that you’ve always known No turning back now! Something that you’ve always known “You don’t have to bend the whole world… I think it’s better to just enjoy it. If you shoot an arrow and it goes real high… hooray for you.”

about

Affectionately named after Title Fight’s final song on their last album ever released, “New Vision” is exactly as the title reads: A new way of looking at the world. The album began being concocted in 2020 when everyone’s lives were flipped upside down due to the Covid-19 lockdown. Freshly graduated from college, finally starting therapy, and moving back in with family in Indiana stirred a lot of emotions and unprocessed trauma. When one learns how to handle internal foes the next is battling everything external.

“Out of Touch” is aptly named for feeling out of touch with the world around you. “Growing Pains” grapples with the loss of childhood and the pain of having to grow up. “Murphy’s Law” tackles climate change and focuses on wildfires ravaging small towns. “Digging My Own Grave” struggles with the victim complex trauma can give you. “Silent Generation” mourns the cultural assimilation into western American society. The album ends with a warm hug from “I Wouldn’t Change a Day” and a wake up call from “You Are Not Your Mind.” Last but not least, “Stay in Touch” calls back to the beginning of the album with a more optimistic view and a loving pat on the back. Despite everything, you’re still you.

credits

released September 1, 2023

Written and recorded 2020 - 2023 in KCMO
All songs written by Sabrina Strausbaugh
Produced by Sabrina Strausbaugh
Mixed by Caleb Fankhauser in KCMO
Drum beats on The Moon in the Seventh House recorded by Kane Gilland
Album photograph by Mak Allen

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boygirl Kansas City, Missouri

lo-fi emo pop

nonbinary music maker

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